If you are talking about something that affects people who menstruate, say menstruators. If you are talking about something that affects all women and girls, say women and girls.

Share the lesson, not the personal details.

Be mindful that while you might have worked through something, other participants may find certain topics or discussions difficult, so they have the potential to cause emotional distress (triggering).

No one is under any obligation to share or feel pressured to share a particular experience.

Asking questions and making mistakes is how we learn. Feel free to ask for clarification or ask anything, there really is no such thing as a silly question, if you are confused that usually means others are as well.

We can’t all be articulate all the time; let’s make this a space for learning and holding each other with care.

There is no expectation to be "perfect" or "right".

Self-Care: you know yourself best, so we ask you to participate at the level that feels comfortable and take a break whenever you need. 

Self-care caveat, we ask you to sit with discomfort, because the most learning comes from gently pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. But you know for yourself, when something is a discomfort versus a trigger and take care of yourself as you see fit.

Community Care: abide by this group agreement, be self-aware and accountable.

Value that community care and self-care are inextricably interdependent.

As with any successful community, it is necessary that everyone takes a share of responsibility towards the group as a whole.

We are all on a learning journey, and we will make mistakes as we undertake this work. But while we may have good intentions when speaking or acting, be conscious that words or actions can cause harm. If you do cause harm, be open to receiving feedback, take responsibility for it and be prepared to address the situation.

Reminder of the self-care caveat If you can, we ask you to sit with discomfort because the most learning comes from gently pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

Acknowledge that we all hold unconscious bias, but we will do our best not to recreate systemic power structure of oppression.

Be an active bystander, support each other

Challenge the statement not the person: Instead of saying “you are wrong”, say “you may not have realised that your comment has this meaning to me”

Calling In with Compassion - challenge others & self with care to learn/grow/change.

Assume best intent, attend to impact. (see above)

Be aware of any power or privilege that you may have and make space for those who don’t.
 

“self-care and community care; pay attention to your bladder, pay attention to your neighbors”

"Assume best intent, attend to impact"

“confidentiality- take the lesson, leave the details” 

Quotes are from adrenne maree brown's suggestions for a Group Agreement
brown, adrienne maree (2017) Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds. Illustrated edition. Chico, CA: AK Press. p 230